19 December 2005

i refuse

njd028guw866://

in the liner notes to 'lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven' it states : 'this tape recording was a broken road. & in the end, it was just a tentative xxxxx stagger towards the pale&holy fading light...(it was a cold and lonely winter.) so: this tape recording is the last stanza of a 3page chapter; we dedicate this stanza to quiet refusals, loud refusals and sad refusals. we dedicate it to every prisoner in the world...'

the following piece i wrote on november 26 about someone i know knew would like to know but she silently slips away like a trilavistic femto presence . i am resentful moth

i refuse
listen

brown . kite . cake . curmudgeon
slice . have . eat it too
fermented metal end the right eyetow
shadow spine in back of you

inside a little girl weaping
braving storm by the outside one
finger inside where all displacement
two at a time chose torn under sun

on the grate with 17 blankets
gigantic buried under the dirt
hide eyes behind custard
try hard not to reach out

nice touch . "you are a weakness"
shiver slide tounge undone
laugh talk for hours in the forest
tell me you might be the one

tell me . take me . feed me . love me
i refuse

touch me . peel me . feel me . tempt me
i refuse

a bruised chin sideways world ending
defending friendship sail from taint
lie down to get back right in
slip self under the gate

finger cold bricks it used to be a window
in the darkness cause you can not shine
hide and start to feel me inside you
do you feel it?

ride home as the dense fog shifting
idle . purr . ratchet . groan
torn between all your wanting
pain . fear . unknown . alone

today you choose to lose me
your mind hesitates
feeling helpless selfless
now i sit watch listen and wait

animal lust brain in wandering
psionic fruit from seeds whole sown
mashed and mixed fixed into recepticle
take a bite hum softly and grow

eat me . drink me . kiss me . suck me
i refuse

lead me . bleed me . taste me . leave me
i refuse

they all fall away
they all fall away
they all fall away
they all fall away
they all fall away
they all fall away

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