love

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love begins as a butterfly flitting inside your stomach sending wings up into the brain to interpret overload sensory input foot down loud love screams when you find it and goes running through woods chased by shadow known as lover who catches up with you and tumble down snap together as one while love is like a glove enraptured more than any blanket as discovery and feeling fuel love into a fire singed ever in bed peacefully dreaming of your love while she watches you sleeping turns her head turns light out and lilts two kisses to your cheek you resurface and smile hold her hand snuggle awhile as you rember what you learned of love and attachments as a baby her hair like mom's long black long ago with beautiful face then you drift back into space asleep now true love is an emptiness in form filling thrilling yet calm at every moment poems a travel cabin books read aloud wild eyes at the thought of both of us alone wordplay sexplay mindplay new adventures fantastical stories dominoes music and documentaries fine eating creating art in the lab lay me down next to the fire to retire and grow old together but spires start as a grain of sand in the oyster eye even when there's no reality or closure for the jealousy close the door but the frame has shifted asked for help me reach this chop the vegtables mind the violence made the bed laid in it layed baby cup smoking stared at black horse sculpture turquoise birthday greetings planted seedlings swapped diseases growing festering blessed now we discovered leasings vows believing too strong beliefs missing a benefit of doubt and now the shouting seething slamming knots deep in the gut badly in need of serious kneeding counciling therapy rules let's try some regulations advice talk through it agree to disagree get patience patients in the hospital of love living together sharing so much of eachother but tearing at the other now a tear drop staring blankly at the wall when you came home alone and noticed the fish for her was dead and the wind had knocked her plant to you off the sill cracked off the parts of building many segments in the game of love big giant bell had to be rung by both a failure of neither but a failure of what was built between parts rotted overtime but time had to be called before someone fell in the river once the water dried for the ropes now cutting letting the bridge drop into the darkness each of us wave goodbye across the gorge as the gap begins to widen and the map begins to crumble and your mind forgets then reassembles pieces of your past four years of journey as you bawl it out and out and out and out you shout you scream you beg you plead you plead for the hole in your heart to stop gushing all your blood out onto the floor into the cracks down onto the earth filling up every reality blood flows in the windows all over your naked body up into the sky fountain out into space everything you see you splash you swim you try attempt to tread thick red its red in endless red flailing slip under grasping slipping sinking deeper eyes closing open lungs closed burning furnace no more oxygen kicking lashing out at nothing as everything floods into your mind pounding at the lungs pounding pounding pounding until you burst inward and suck thick in blood drown yourself to death you flow relief begins to tremble as sadness starts to clear to part you feel a warm tone in the brain sort of singing backwards tunes sweetly and you realize that it's been blood all along and you can breathe it and at the bottom of this despondant ocean there are other creatures you didn't really notice before because love has a crazy way of blindness which binds us and seeks us in finding no matter where we are or what kind of mind is in us it seems to be a simultaneous blessing and curse of course now that i've been along the long journey back home now rested warm blankets quietly thinking by the fire i begin to prepare butterfly food to put in my stomach as i get set to set out on a now possible new adventure of love.